Defending Beauty

Case in point.

I've been hearing a lot of buzz from the online beauty community recently about cyber abuse directed at beauty bloggers, gurus and websites. Beauty enthusiasts who follow online experts are probably aware of the vicious forums that rip apart beauty lovers, or at least the nasty comments left on their websites and fan pages. If you're not familiar with this world, you must have encountered hate-filled posts by online 'trolls' under any article that permits anonymous commentary. By this token, there's emerged an online community that takes specific issue with beauty enthusiasts; the anti-beauty sentiment is so acute that some beset bloggers have quit rather than endure the antagonism.

This attitude is not new to me. Although I've (so far) not been on the receiving end of any overt abuse, I have noticed the derision that some people have for beauty-related pursuits. I've heard an interest in beauty referred to in various contexts as "superficial", "frivolous", "a waste of time", even "unhealthy", and often with a general lack of regard. Being "into your looks" (of which I've been accused) can give rise to pejorative assumptions regarding intelligence and personality, none of which are mutually exclusive.

So why the bad rap?? I don't feel well-placed to comment extensively on the online anti-beauty brigade; such degrees of animosity suggest issues that run too deep to be analyzed homogeneously. My personal view is that there is never an excuse for nastiness or hurtful behaviour - that, over any physical manifestation, is downright ugly. It's an indication of their own self-esteem that these individuals take strength in anonymity and numbers - but then, I suppose that's human nature. I do have a few insights based on my interactions, not all of which have been negative, but revealing nonetheless.

My worst experiences have been with male colleagues who have exhibited an obvious disdain for me, while simultaneously taking over-familiar liberties that violate professional boundaries. Evidently, sometimes being well-presented is the equivalent of jumping out of a cake clad in a bikini - nothing new there, but a girl can hope for progress. Another familiar theme is hostility arising as a result of a perceived threat - to what, I'm not certain, but it almost always seems misinformed and misdirected.

Other experiences have been much more endearing; for example, when I worked at a makeup counter I encountered women who didn't take an interest in their appearance simply because they didn't know how. I met some working women and tired mothers who were often just grateful to have a seat and to let someone fuss over them, but were almost without exception thrilled with the "transformation" - in fact, little more than a few touch-ups that enhanced their own natural beauty. The candid chats that took place during these exchanges revealed that sometimes, our circumstances can consume us not only psychologically and spiritually, but also physically to the extent where we feel robbed of our right to beauty. Who can't relate to that? We all have areas of our lives that are either beyond our control or hard to cope with, and while external enhancements aren't a cure-all, they can certainly help to lift our spirits even when we feel overwhelmed.

Girl at Mirror by Norman Rockwell

What my experiences have demonstrated unequivocally is that, whether it's a make-over, a painting or a perfume, everyone loves beauty. Even those that purport a distaste for the concept will be mesmerized by it in some state or another. In cosmetological terms, there is a huge industry surrounding beauty that will never go out of business, least of all in the current economic climate; Olay's 2010 Big British Beauty Poll revealed that the beauty industry has thrived during this recession, and The Economist explored this phenomenon in an article called 'Lip Reading: Cosmetics in the Downturn' in 2008.* Yet I think there's a misguided belief that beauty is exclusive and unattainable, and makes people feel that they can't be a part of it. I don't believe that this can be true because the idea of beauty is so subjective and multi-dimensional; nobody can tell you what beauty is, only what it means to them. And even on our worst day, there will be someone who thinks that we are beautiful.

Finally, I'll leave you with a humdinger: isn't it the case that beauty only makes us feel bad when it reminds us of something we're not happy about? For example, two of the most beautiful things I saw today were Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, and a cheesecake. I'm sad to say that both made me feel like crap. I can recognize these feelings as a projection of my image issues and guilt (yes, I ate the cheesecake), although it's a hard pill to swallow; I would hope that if I ever met Rosie, I wouldn't make her feel bad just because she is gorgeous and I can't say 'no' to cake - or 'yes' to the treadmill, for that matter. I have to work on what makes me feel beautiful, inside and out, and enjoy the beauty all around me. Then I intend to have my cake and eat it, too. 

*from article 'The UK Beauty Industry During the Recession' http://blog.simonjersey.com/beauty-news/the-uk-beauty-industry-during-the-recession/

The Beauty of a Moment

I took the train home from London this evening. Public transport in the city is not something I enjoy, so I approached the train with a customary weary resignation - if I was lucky, I'd find a seat in the post-work crush - and looked forward to leaving the urban grime behind. To my surprise, the train was relatively empty so I nabbed myself a coveted 4-seater, put my bag on the seat next to me and my refreshments on the large table in front of me; I made myself comfortable. As the train pulled out of the station, I looked out at the towerblocks that I always find so ugly, only to be blinded by the setting sun.

The whole effect was glorious - I had a seat, a snack, and the sunset in my eyes. Through such simplicity of circumstance, my default frown had within moments been altered to a contented smile.

I often experience the most profound beauty in totally arbitrary moments like this one. The wonder of this beauty is that it finds you. These moments are so delightful precisely because they can't be orchestrated. You can only allow yourself to become more susceptible to these random instances that flutter past by simply opening your eyes; I've so often experienced the revelation of putting down my phone, laptop or work and suddenly seeing the world before me, and witnessing the magical happenstances that occur when we're not looking. It could be a sight, a smell, a sound – or best of all, an intoxicating marriage of all three – that can pass us by in a fleeting moment yet leave an indelible, mood-transforming impression.

On the whole, I find the greatest pleasure in simplicity. I'm no Zen master and probably guiltier than most of letting minor irritations get the better of me, but I do know the beauty of how trivial matters can be put into perspective by the purity of a moment. While we struggle behind the wheels of our lives to engineer situations and outcomes, the Universe is at play, simply and beautifully, all around us. The most natural results can be the most stunning, and every time nature reminds me of this I'm inspired to apply the lesson to my own life. And so it goes on, again and again :)

Beauty Around the World - India

One of my favorite aspects of traveling is exploring the varying ideals of beauty held in different cultures. This will be my first instalment in a series on beauty around the world - my perspective is based on my own observations and experience, so I welcome further insight from readers.

I've spent the past year between the UK and Asia, and I love observing how concepts of beauty can vary from place to place. There are some common themes - for example, everybody is keeping up with the Kardashians, and fair skin is an ideal throughout South Asia - but a place's history, culture and ethnicity can have a more enduring influence on concepts of beauty than popular ideals. I remember having a discussion with someone in the UK who felt that the ideal for curvier women in some cultures was dated, or even wrong - they hadn't caught up with what was now fashionable - and while in some places that may be the case and ideals are changing, on the whole many societies have standards that are too entrenched to be affected by trends.

I find that refreshing in a way because sometimes I wonder to what extent the standards of beauty that we - say in the UK and US - uphold are what we ourselves find beautiful rather than what we are told is now beautiful. Beauty ideals seem to change all the time based on what's fashionable - the androgynous waif in the 60s, feminine glamour in the 70s, powerful amazonian the 80s, emaciated heroin chic in the 90s - each of which had a specific body type. Beauty in the 21st century seems to be dictated by popular culture more than ever, often with a worrying trend for the super-skinny and general obsessiveness.

I've been coming to India since I was a baby and some ideals have proved to be timeless. For example, the desirability of fair skin is a staple of Indian beauty - brands like 'Fair and Lovely' have been around for decades, and in recent years global brands have jumped on the bandwagon with their own fairness lines marketed specifically to the Asian market. I can't imagine this is an ideal that will ever go out of fashion in India - it's far too deeply-rooted in Indian culture, not to mention that now it's an extremely lucrative industry. On the plus side, it also means that women here are vigilant about protecting their skin from sun damage so it could be seen as a healthy pursuit in that respect.

" I like being wholesome. Maybe today being attractive has more to do with the relatability factor." - Katrina Kaif

Another concept of beauty that is inherently Indian is modesty - here, it's still a virtue. Except in particularly liberal sectors of society, clothes are never too revealing and public behaviour adheres to underlying moral codes that belie India's socio-economic progression. Even in the public eye, the most successful Bollywood stars are those who are effortlessly demure and classy. Ideals remain similarly traditional for physical beauty. Even though the skinny trend has gained some popularity, a 'womanly' figure - large bust, curvy hips and rounded tummy - still holds strong mass appeal.

When I come to India, I automatically adjust my appearance to suit Indian sensibilities and weather. The way I dress becomes looser (in a structural, not moral sense!) and more covering, and my makeup is similarly altered - in such hot weather it's impractical to maintain a shine- and blemish-free complexion with heavy makeup. Mainly for the health of my skin, I prefer to simply embrace the environment by sticking to minimal makeup (including essential SPF) and I find that most of the women around me seem to adopt a similar approach. Given that luxury branding is a rapidly-growing industry in India, not least in the cosmetics sector, I'll be interested to see what impact this will have on Indian women's attitudes to practicing beauty.

Keeping cool in India

For now, natural beauty is still widely favoured - it doesn't hurt that Indian women are ethnically blessed with beautiful strong hair and nails, and they make the most of their natural attributes through immaculate self-maintenance. As well as a strong ethic for health and well-being, beauty parlours are everywhere and affordable so it's commonplace for women here to have long, shiny hair and neatly manicured nails. To my eternal disappointment, I didn't inherit the Indian genes for thick hair and long nails but but I'll leave you with an Indian ad for Dove shampoo which will illustrate my point - granted, these are models, but Dove is a brand that celebrates natural beauty and I know enough Indian women with amazing hair to confirm that this isn't too far off the mark.

Beauty is as beauty does

We've all heard those sayings: "beauty is only skin-deep", "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". Clichés? Sure, but many of us find them reassuring too. Sadly, societal expectations and pressures can make it so hard for us to retain confidence in our individual beauty.


I'm pretty sure you're all familiar with - if not afflicted by - the desire to conform to media-endorsed standards, so I won't beat you about the head with it. (Although this is a phenomenon that affects both men and women, I'm only writing it from a female perspective as that's my frame of reference.) I don't want to talk about beauty as we "know" it. What I do want to talk to you about is true beauty, which doesn't lie flat on a page. Beauty is not the one-dimensional image we see in a photograph. Beauty, to me, is fierce, radiant, and unconcerned with what anyone else thinks about beauty. So how about we turn the beauty cliché into a beauty paradox: "beauty doesn't care about beauty".


Personally, I love the aesthetic aspect of beauty. I love my makeup and my products, and it's something that I have a lot of fun with and take a genuine interest in. That said, I think it's also important to aspire to a healthier and more holistic sense of beauty than the mainstream version that's thrust at us every day. I also know there are a lot of people who are confident in themselves, which is exactly what this post is about. I'm just writing this for anyone who might agree that there are ways of feeling uniquely beautiful that could free us from constantly comparing ourselves to cover girls.


I'm lucky that I have a lot of strong and inspiring women in my life, who are also incredibly beautiful. Although they're all so different, one thing they share is a confidence in their own beauty - physical or otherwise. Who they are inside shows on the outside, and they radiate. Let me introduce you to some of these women:


The Warrior
She is the very model of three-dimensional beauty. She goes through life kicking ass and she takes no prisoners; there is nothing she can't do, physically, mentally or intellectually, and she can scare the crap out of people. But incredibly, she is as soft as she is hard; she is kind and generous, and stunning in her femininity. Most importantly, she knows all this about herself and she embraces it, and she's one of the most beautiful women I know.



The CEO
Talk about an empowered woman. She built her empire from nothing, and did it with both barrels. Her brains, self-belief and tenacity made her hugely successful in a man's world, where she never concealed or defended her feminine attributes and she welcomed those that underestimated her so she could prove them wrong. She is the busiest and most powerful woman I know - but she still makes time for the salon and is groomed to perfection.  


The Mother
My friend has always been beautiful, but I've never seen her happier or more peaceful than she is as a mother. Even though she has her troubles, the sense of purpose she now has changed her outlook, and how she sees herself. It's like her pregnancy glow never left her, and she's a perfect example of inner calm and confidence reflecting outwardly. She's the most beautiful I've ever seen her.


The Creative
She is always eager to learn and to develop, and her motivation is inspiring. She is absolutely gorgeous but has zero interest in maintaining herself aesthetically, preferring to focus on other more rewarding pursuits. She doesn't wear a scrap of makeup but still has men walking into lamposts, because she is so confident about who she is and how she presents herself, which is so uniquely her.


These are just a handful of the women I know who've challenged my superficial perspective of beauty. Actually, I know very few women who aren't beautiful so there are lots more where these came from. This post could just as easily have been about you, so go sing some Christina Aguilera - I had 'Beautiful' in mind, but go for 'Dirrty' if that's what makes you feel good - and feel beautiful, peeps!